archersangel: (woman)
[personal profile] archersangel
i decided to "come out" as child free after finding a community for like-minded people [community profile] child_free on the [community profile] followfriday community. being child free is to open yourself up to ridicule, but some are becoming public about it.

like most who are child free i knew from a young age that i didn't want kids. also like most i get from people how i'll change my mind or i haven't met the right man yet. i've also been told that i'm unnatural or selfish or or a freak of nature for not wanting to reproduce. like name calling is going to get me to change my mind. people, mostly women, quote the Bible at me with the "be fruitful & multiply" bit. i'm like: we've done that. or they ask; "who will take care of you when you get old?" you shouldn't have kids just to have nurses. or they ask: "don't you want to leave a legacy?" in a couple of generations, they won't even remember my name. it's gotten to the point that i don't even mention that i'm child free (and plan to remain that way) when people ask if i have kids. i just trot out the "haven met the right man yet" line and shrug when they point out that i'm not getting any younger.

i have nothing against people who have kids, but i wonder about those who have 8 (or more) and are trying for more (or don't take precautions). duggars, i'm looking at you with your "we'll have as many as God wants us to have" attitude. God gave us free will, that means that a lot of things are up to us, like do i stay home & clean or go hang out with friends? and do i have zero kids or try for two? like my brother says; "God doesn't micromanage."

ETA: and of course there's a bingo card for the stuff people tell you when you admit to being child free.

Date: Sep. 19th, 2010 03:14 am (UTC)
bluemeridian: Chloe from Smallville, with coffee and a sideways look. (Default)
From: [personal profile] bluemeridian
*laughs* Yeah, D and I have gotten that for years. When we tell them that we have 2 beagles, they're our kids, and, really, we're stopping there, they say something like "Oh, you'll change your mind." or, my favorite, "You'll feel differently when you have your own kids."

Um, no. I won't because 1) no kids and 2) why would I want to feel differently about Jack and River?! That's just cold.

There are plenty of good reasons for us not to have children, but that's really besides the point since no one cares. Everyone has children, right?! Arrgh.

Date: Sep. 19th, 2010 03:20 am (UTC)
magnavox_23: (whale)
From: [personal profile] magnavox_23
Ooh, thank you for pimping that comm, I will have to join. Like you I've known since I was very young that I was not going to have children. People tend to assume all sorts of things all the way up to 'you're a monster and you must hate children', but they're small minded and better ignored.

As I grew older there were just more reasons not to have children - from environmental aspects to financial, and I accept myself fully as someone who simply does not want to have children and does not see them ever fitting into any idea of what I want my life to be.

I could probably write a whole essay on it of course, but I won't clog up your comments. :P

Thank you for sharing this and your own story. Good to know I am not alone, and neither are you. :)

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